Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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