So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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