i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
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All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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