this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
