so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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