I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
