According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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