So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
