marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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