How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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