There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
