C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
