yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
