So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
