I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
