i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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