Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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