haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
