when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize