You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
