btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
