either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
