He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
