My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
