Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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