I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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