just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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