you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
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I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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