Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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