I love black thongs
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
