I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize