I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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