piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
