When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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