who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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