Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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