so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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