A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
