I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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