i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
