Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
