there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
