So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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