Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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