What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
