don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
they call him Oral-B. enough said
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize