I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
