Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize