i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
