dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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