Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
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Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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