'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We need to rekindle our bromance
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
