Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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