You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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