wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Randomize
