How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
