If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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