to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's shark week go big or go home
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
