you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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