i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
